She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
