$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
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