Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
