i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
