i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
