i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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