come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
