Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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