I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
