That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize