handjob tips. give me some.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
