i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she pinky promised me she was 18
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
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