I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
