am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
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