Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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