That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize