do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
