btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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