Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
