we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I need moral support for this bender
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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