so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
