Walk of Shame. In a state park.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
