That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
