An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
