Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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