It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
