Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
