What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
