Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Randomize
