we're making bets on your personal life
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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