so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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