Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize