That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
