Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
