Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
