so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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