i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
