Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
