how can u be prego again
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
