did you get engaged???
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
