ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize