They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
