Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
