I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
my poor anus
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
