The best revenge is premature balding
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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