i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
