actually, I'm a sock model
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
