Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
