Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
