A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Pants are for mortals
My butt remains clenched, sir.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
