No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
This baby is an asshole
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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