I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
