so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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