EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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