In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
