I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
