the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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