worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Let's get the cat blown out
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
