ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
