i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
