Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
